in the situation where it has already been explained, perhaps the question should fall back upon the person asking why they have to do it again– if they need an explanation, maybe they need some time to think through it for themselves before they can own it.

Matt - good points. I guess I didn’t make clear that I was referring to a work situation where the explanation was already given (multiple times) and the job just needs to be done. Sometimes it’s detrimental to a parent/boss/teacher to engage in every single debate and is obviously always a case-by-case decision. I don’t advocate using authority as basis for everything, but really do think that there is a place for it. I think that many of the classroom management/parenting/management books over-simplify things by claiming that rank should never be pulled.

The trick is to make authority make sense — so when I tell my calculus students to do their homework, say, they do it not merely because I told them so, but because my telling them so conveys a sense that I know what really works out best for them in the end and that if they do what I ask they will come out better than if they don’t.

At work, “because I said so” is just going to upset your workers. People can accept commands but if they really want to know a reason behind something and you don’t tell them, this just creates mistrust and animosity.

With your own son, I say do whatever you want. He’s yours.